So What's My Problem?

I decided to come over to our "selling house" as our four year old calls it and help the little ones get their baths.  With so much work going on on the yard and inside the house, 
they are getting quite dirty - and loving it!

Then I came here because my emotions are a little wacky and I thought I could maybe write to get them somewhat sorted out.  "Aw, you're just out of sorts because of what is coming tomorrow'" you might say.  I would have to respond with a good laugh and shake my head.

Turning 40 is the least of my worries.  

Really.  I am ok with it.  It's all the other stuff that is crammed into this head of mine 
that's got me frustrated and a little irritable if I might be so honest.

It's the child who over-does EVERYTHING and has since birth that 
caused a sibling to get hurt today.

It's the parent who overreacted in response to this action 
and wondering what damage was done.

It's the sad little comments from the little ones about not wanting to sell our house; 
the only home they have ever known.

It's the eating habits (or not eating) of our youngest.

It's the bills piling up with no income coming in.

It's the never-ending job of "finishing" the selling house.

It's the tight quarters in our RV.

It's the frustration at my impatience and intolerance.

It's the "Where do I put this?" question I have asked myself too may times in the last month.

It's the friend who just buried her husband and my heart breaks for her 
and her and her 7 children.

It's the shock of a lifelong Christian friend who was charged with sexual assault 
with two minors, the pain he caused, and how his family 
and wife with their 7 week old son must be feeling.

It's the "not knowing" stage of life we are presently living.

It's the trying to help my sons remain pure in this sex-crazed world; where everywhere they turn the enemy is vying for their innocence and purity.

It's the trying to help my daughters remain pure in this sex-crazes world; where everywhere they turn the enemy is vying for their innocence and purity.

It's the church world and where do we fit in it?

It's the government and their...yeah, there is too much to write.

It's the decline of our beautiful and once Godly nation that is no longer known as such.

So, is it turning 40 that has me in an out-of-sorts kind of mood?
Not really.  
I am blessed more than I deserve and 
I am very thankful for my Heavenly Father and all He does as is to me.

I have been redeemed.

I have been given grace.

My Father renews His mercies to me every morning.

I have a husband who is good to me - more than I deserve.  

He has loved me through thick and thin and I don't mean my skirt size!  (I would be up all night if I began to write of how wonderful he is and I would just be getting started.)

I have 5 wonderful children!  
They are not perfect and come with limitations.  
Guess what?!  So does their mother!

We are together as a family.

We have our health.  
(Trying to make it better daily.)

We have our parents.

We have each other.  
In a little bit, when it is time to say, "Good night", 
I will be able to snuggle next to my man, give him a kiss, and sleep peaceably through the night.  

I am blessed.

Tomorrow, I turn 40!  

It is another day to serve God to the fullest, honor my husband, and love my children!

I guess I just needed to remind myself.  Thanks for letting me ramble.

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Jessica said...

Love this post, its revealing and humbling. Hugs and prayers to you. Happy Birthday too.

ruth said...

Thank you so much for this post. You are so honest and I feel so like you, I cried. I feel a little less alone now thank you.
Happy Birthday .

Niki French said...

Thank you Jessica and Ruth for letting me know you stopped by! I am so glad you were encouraged. Praise the Lord!