Are There Termites In Your Marriage?

Ephesians 5
Termites are seldom considered to be a good thing unless you need something to be decomposed, broken down, or turned into soil.  A marriage does not need to be decomposed or broken down.  It needs to be cultivated and lifted up.  Daily.

Let's look at some termites that can destroy your marriage if left unattended and ignored.

Termite of Busy-ness

This little termite comes with good pretenses because of all the work the spouse gets done.  On the other hand they are so busy, they don't spend quality time with their best friend/mate.

Stubborn Termite 

This termite says, "I refuse to change.  If he doesn't like the way things are, tough!  This is how I was when he married me."  Or  "I got these characteristics from my mother or grandmother and I cannot change."

Not only will you be stuck in a rut as a person and unhappy, so will your spouse.  I have said it a dozen or more times on this blog, "Change begins with me!"

Immature Termite 

This termite is a nuisance to have around most of the time.  They cannot see their own stupidity and ignorant mistakes.  After a short period of time they think their life would be better if they had married someone else or wasn't married at all.  It seems this is the largest termite in couples of today.

Run Away Termite 

This termite runs at the first sign of trouble.  They check out of their marriage.  They may turn to substance abuse, pornography, or harmful relationships, etc. to avoid facing the music.  In the end, not only do they hurt themselves, but they have probably done a great deal of harm to their spouse and children; sometimes irreparable damage.

Termite of Neglect  

This termite says, "I don't care anymore.  We have grown apart.  We no longer have anything in common."  Each spouse does their own thing, pursues their own interests, and sometimes even sleeping in separate beds.  This is a very lonely place to be for the neglected spouse and children who will suffer the consequences of poor self esteem and image or worse.

Termite of Blame

This termite resembles the termite of immaturity.  They can never see how they have done any wrong.  Not only do they think they have done NO wrong, they feel their spouse has done ALL the wrong.  The blamed spouse always feels defeated and begins to methodically go through the motions, just to escape the blame.  They will wither emotionally or possibly revert to playing the blame game where there is NEVER a winner.

The damage done by termites takes a long time to be noticed.  By the time you see them, it may be too late.

Did you know termites eat non-stop, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? They never sleep!

Did you also know that the soldier and worker termites are almost always blind?  They blindly go about their "work" destroying.

You may not even realize your actions have invited "termites" into your marriage.

The termites of busyness, stubbornness, immaturity, running away, neglect, and blame in your marriage never quit eating away at your relationship with your spouse.  Even while you sleep they do their damage.  Before you realize it, you have been served divorce papers and you are another statistic.  Your children will be shifted from your house to his, there will never be an end to the turmoil!

Don't be in denial.  Don't think it can never happen to you.  It can and it will.  Why?  Because it is the devil's business to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10) and he specializes in destroying marriages and families.

Be on guard; have a termite inspection in your marriage today.

Can you think of any other "termites" that can 
destroy a marriage?
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Disclaimer:  This post is written as a result of hearing a message from Adrian Rodgers.

1 comment:

Charlotte Moore said...

Very good!!!