Put The Phone Down And Be A Friend



Today, six friends and I are writing a series called Put the Phone Down! Our hope and prayer is to draw to your attention the importance of one-on-one relationships with those around you, without the distraction of a phone and/or computer.  In closing, you will find a list of lovely ladies and their individual "Put the Phone Down" topic.

My topic is to put the phone down and be a friend.  There are many different kinds of friends in the world.  Some you long for, some you have, and some you wish you'd never met.  Go with me for a minute.

Walking into Starbucks with your best friend, you order a white chocolate mocha with extra "pumps" (or whatever it is you call it to make it sweeter and more like the "fake" stuff you occasionally get for yourself at home), and sit sown to wait for them to call you by name. Glancing around nervously you notice you are fidgeting with your purse and hope no one else noticed.   You question whether or not you ordered your drink right and hope you have mustered enough confidence to fool everyone. Finally, your girlfriend comes over to sit with you and you begin to relax as you chatter about the latest cute things your toddlers have done. 

The chatter takes a more serious tone as you begin to share some deep things on your heart.  Sipping on your drink, you begin to open up and...her phone rings.  She looks at you hopelessly and says, "Hang on a minute, please".  Laughing to herself she types out her text as quickly as possible and then looks at  you as if to say, "Now, you may continue".  

The wind knocked out of your sails, you quickly bring your "heart-pouring" to a close and you both chatter the rest of the evening away.  Saying "good night" to her as you she pulls out of your driveway, you feel a sense of sadness.  It was good to have spent the evening with a friend, but something was amiss.

What happened?  It might have had to do with the fact that she was texting with someone else part of the time you were talking.  Or it could have been the phone calls she got and just had to answer. Or it could have been that the evening was more about her.

It was clear by her actions which do speak louder than words by the way, spoke to you louder than her actual words.  I know the saying is all too familiar and we've used it in many different venues, but it doesn't keep it from remaining true.  

Picture this scene instead:

Walking into Starbucks with your best friend, you order a white chocolate mocha with extra "pumps" (or whatever it is you call it to make it sweeter and more like the "fake" stuff you occasionally get for yourself at home), and sit sown to wait for them to call you by name. Glancing around nervously you notice you are fidgeting with your purse and hope no one else noticed.   You question whether or not you ordered your drink right and hope you have mustered enough confidence to fool everyone. Finally, your girlfriend comes over to sit with you and you begin to relax as you chatter about the latest cute things your toddlers have done. 

The chatter takes a more serious tone as you begin to share some deep things on your heart.  Sipping on your drink, you begin to open up and...she reaches into her purse and hands you a kleenex.  She doesn't lose eye contact with you, but nods her head ever so slightly to assure you she is listening.  You continue until the end and she asks if it ok to pray with you (even though you are in a public place).  

Saying" good night" to her as she pulls out of your driveway, you feel a sense of peace and satisfaction.   It was good to have spent the evening with a friend, and you knew the night was more about building your friendship.  How might you have come to this conclusion?  She turned her cell phone back on as she headed back to her car to go home.

It may not happen exactly like this, but I am guilty myself.  Spending time with a friend, but not having the courtesy to turn my phone off while we are visiting.  Good friends are hard to come by these days.  I challenge you to evaluate how your time is spent with your friends.  Do you text with others instead of talking with the one you are with?  Do you face book instead of  "face commune"?  

Interestingly enough, when I looked up the word "commune" these are the definitions: to be in a state of intimate, heightened sensitivity and receptivity, as with one's surroundings: to form a close personal relationship; to communicate intimately.  Whereas, to "communicate" was not as personal or intimate:  to convey knowledge of or information about; to make known.

I hope as you read this and what the other lovely ladies have to say on this topic today, you will be challenged to get back to more meaningful relationships.  Invite your friend to a special place for the evening and just talk and listen.  Don't forget to turn off your phone; it shows you are a good friend!

Please join the following ladies as they share their heart with you!

Put The Phone Down...
  
And Be A Wife · Raising Mighty Arrows
And Be A Teacher · Little Natural Cottage
And Be A Mother · Growing Home
And Be A Homemaker · Jill's Home Remedies
And Be A Listener · An Original Belle
And Be A Witness . Becoming Lydia

Blessings,
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5 comments:

Jacinda @ Growing Home said...

Your illustrations are fantastic, Nikki. I felt like I was right there in Starbucks watching the whole scene take place. Thank-you for the vivid reminder that our actions really do speak louder than our words.

Julie said...

Thanks for the challenge!! :)

Jenifer said...

I agree, good friends are hard to come by. I cherish my friendships. I needed this reminder to shut the phone off and focus on a friend. Thank you!

h. rae said...

So good, Niki! I must say I was a little surprised when the scene moved from Starbucks to her pulling out of your driveway. LOL How did that happen? But truly, this is a great post, and amazingly similar to my own. Instead of putting the phone down, what's so difficult about turning it off... for a while? Good for you for pointing that out!

Jill's Home Remedies said...

This is great, Niki!