Bleak Picture

I'll get right to the point and just be brutally honest with you.  This has been a tough year for our family with the toughest part being these last few months.  I could fill this post with excuses as to why I haven't written, but they would be just that.  The truth of the matter is, I've come here a zillion times and stared at the blank screen, fingers poised in the air ready to pound away at the keyboard to write some impressive thoughts that will magically transform your day into a brighter one.  I sit frozen, unable to type a single thing.  There are no impressive thoughts, no God-given inspiration, or encouraging anecdotes I can leave for you.  Tears roll down my cheeks as I regretfully open a new tab and read the Face Book Newspaper.  Then the time I had available to write to you was wasted on who's eating where or who has changed their status from "in a relationship" to "single".  I'm guilty.  The days have slipped into weeks and I haven't blogged in a very long time.

As I wrote last time, the purpose of this blog is to encourage you in your walk of womanhood. In my endeavor to write only things that will lighten your load and brighten your day, I have felt there was little to write about.  No pity party here, just being transparent.  Without going into too much detail, I will try to explain what in the world I am talking about!

Spiritually:  I have a personal relationship with the Lord and that is the most important thing in my life.  We have always been very active in our local church, attending three times a week and involved in any activities the church provided.  We have been Children's Church Pastors almost as long as we have been married!  Due to some circumstances beyond our control, we are now without  a church home.  This has been one of the toughest things we have had to go through as a family.  It has hurt us all deeply and some days it's all we could do to just put one foot in front of the other.

Physically:  We have battled quite a bit of sickness since September.  There are seven of us and it seems we keep passing this junk back and forth.  It has lagged on for so long.  We are taking vitamin C and garlic seemingly to no avail.  As I am writing this, my oldest daughter has not eaten or spoken in four days because of strep throat and flu.  She did manage to keep down two Popsicles yesterday afternoon. 

Financially:  Times are hard for most everyone.  The dollar does not go as far as it used to.  We have no credit card debt, no payments except house and utilities and still, we have more month at the end of our money.

Emotionally:  All of this has taken a toll on my emotions.  I try to choose joy daily, but fear that is not going so well.

If you have managed to hang on through all of this then you are probably seeing a bleak picture.  The good news is that through all of this I have seen the hand of God working in our lives.  In my next post (tomorrow, I promise) I will tell you how God is showing us His faithfulness.  We do not understand all that He is doing, but it is refreshing to know He loves us and is watching out for us.

Blessings to you all,




Disclaimer:  The thoughts and viewpoints expressed here are not written in hopes of you feeling sorry for the writer (me).  They were written in hopes of being transparent and honest with my readers and to take steps toward healing, forgiveness, and complete trust in my Heavenly Father.

4 comments:

Kristy @ Little Natural Cottage said...

I've been through a tough season, too... praise God, my valley is behind me (for now!) and I'm looking forward to brighter days ahead.

I know how trying life can be. Thank you for sharing your heart, my friend. I Love you!

Pam... said...

Praying for you. With you. Holding your hand up to Jesus.

There you go again trying to be a blessing to people when you feel poured out and spent. There you go striving to feed others when your family is in the midst of healing and adjusting.

Valleys are a part of the whole deal, and as they are laid before us, we learn to find the hope hidden in them. There is much to learn in those valleys; so much to glean in the times of waiting. Much of our work for God is in the valleys.

But we loved the high places, God. We loved skipping with you on Hind's feet, and we loved the awesome moments we shared with you there...

But the real world is full of pain and voids, and unkind people, and trials. So many people live in hopeless places. So that's where we, His people must settle in. For He is always with us, and those wonder places are always kept to cherish and to ponder. They fill us so we can overflow to those who lack.

Hang in there, my friend Niki. In acceptance lieth peace. In thanksgiving lieth joy that no one can steal. Cling to Him. Hold fast.
..and underneath are the everlasting arms.

Jacinda @ Growing Home said...

How wonderful that God never changes, even though our circumstances do! Thank you for the great reminder!

Jessica said...

Sometimes its actually encouraging to read that others are going through things and we are not alone. Not that I would wish this on anyone but its life and as a Christian it helps others to know that there will be mountaintop soon. I pray for you all and I am glad that God has been faithful to your family. I look forward to reading your post on his faithfulness.