Reflections


I have so much to write about that I really don't know where to start.  So much has been going on at our house.  I want to start by saying that I have learned a lot the last two weeks.  It has caused me to deeply reflect on who I am, how I do things,  and where I have come from. (Don't tell my dad that I ended a sentence with a preposition!)

Who I am?!  Well we could spend some time on the character traits I possess and the ones I still need to work on, but we wont go there just yet.  We could talk more about who I am as far as my likes and dislikes, but that is irrelevant at this time, too.  Who I am...who am I?  I am an imperfect human being in need of God's grace daily.  I am a woman whose mouth gets the best of me at times.  I am a woman who deals with hormones that sometimes get in the way of clear judgment.  I am a woman who clings to the impossible desire to please everyone at all times. I am a woman who collects too much junk!  This leads me to think of how I do things.

How do I do things?!  I'm crazy!  At least sometimes I think I am.  I have too much stuff! I keep things.  I don't want to throw away things.  If it has any sentimental value at all, I save it.  This is not a good thing and God has ways of helping us get rid of the junk in our lives.  In sparing you many details, I will quickly sum up what I mean.  When Steve and I got married, I thought he was crazy for keeping his towels he used in college.  This was only the beginning of a long road he and I walked of holding on to "things". 

But some years back, we decided to move into a motor home for various reasons (sparing you the details, remember?).  We had three children then and moved into a 28-30 foot motor home and temporarily put the stuff that wouldn't fit into an old abandoned house on our property.  There was a reason it was abandoned!  Eight months later, our pipes froze and we moved in the middle of the night to another 30 foot park model trailer that we were using at the time for a home school trailer.  We lived there for about four months when we moved in the middle of the night again to the place we now call home.  I feel like I need to explain lest you get the idea we were criminals using the cover of darkness to hide just what we were moving!  This move was because of a mix up with the electric company.  We were planning on moving anyway, but they turned our electricity off a week early while we were gone on a trip. Getting home at one o'clock in the morning and no electricity, we moved on to where there was electricity.  Crazy, I know!

Our "stuff" was then as they say "out of sight, out of mind".  Several years later, Steve went and gathered what could be salvaged from the abandoned house on our other property and brought it to our carport where it has been for some time now.  It sat there staring me in the face day after day after day.  It spoke loudly of a mountain that I needed to conquer, but did not have it within me to try.  I knew it would be an enormous task which held many emotions that I did not want to face.

Then along came a friend who asked if she could help me conquer that mountain.   I was shocked, embarrassed and very grateful to her.  Before I go any further, I'd like to say that I plan to write more about this part of the story soon, but for now am going to get back to "how I do things".

I have found that I do not handle "stuff" well.  What I mean is, I am a pilot...oops, I mean pile-it!  I don't know what to do with stuff.  I know I want to keep it, but don't have a system of what to do with it so it gets piled on a horizontal surface.  After it gets piled so high, I get overwhelmed and I ignore it!  These are the mountains I am slowly trying to work through.  As I have come to say so much, "This is a mountain I need to conquer!"   With the help of my friend who has helped me so much these last two weeks, I've been able to conquer some mountains.  She has taught me how to organize in the areas I did not know how to organize.  She has taught me so much and I am grateful!

Where have I come from?!  I've come a long way.  These last two weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have gotten so much accomplished that I am amazed.  Never could have done it without all of the help!  In all of the stuff we have been organizing and going through it has caused me to reflect on where I have come from. (There goes that preposition again!)  I was raised in a Christian home.  I went to a Christian school or was home schooled.  I went to a Christian college. I married a Christian man.  I have Christian in-laws.  I have 5 beautiful children that love the Lord.  I am so blessed!  Who cares about all of the stuff I lost?  It's just stuff!  I have the memories, but best of all, I have the people who gave me the memories!  I have a Father who loves me, a Savior who redeemed me, and a Still, Small Voice who comforts me.

I know this has been a little random and not written grammatically correct, but I hope you have been able to follow me as I reflect on some things.  As I pause to collect my thoughts and close this post, it came to my mind that I should consider where am I going from here.  It feels so good to have so many mountains behind me that were a hindrance.  I never want to go back!  I love the new organizational techniques I have learned and am finding many ways to incorporate them.  I plan to use the techniques in more areas.  I am a new woman; still in need of God's grace, but inspired to change!  Care to join me?

Many blessings to you,

3 comments:

Pam... said...

I think this is excellent. It always feels good to overcome that mountain in our lives. Take it full on, and then we are so blessed. We all have mountains. I have overcome a few of mine lately (by God's awesome grace) and it feels so much lighter. You know? Anyway, proud of you and keep it up.

Niki said...

Thanks, Pam! I appreciate your encouraging comments. It definitely does feel lighter!

Naomi said...

I know how you feel! I've been moving my own mountains lately and boy does it feel good to get things organized! I feel so accomplished and now I have time for the things that I really enjoy! Great post, thanks for being so transparent!