The Lord is My Keeper



I had not slept well.  The sharp pains in my lower back and abdomen had awakened me many times throughout the night.  A heaviness began to weigh upon my heart as the realization of what was happening in my body, rang loudly in my mind.  I tried to come to terms with the fact that we were going to lose this baby.  I wept.  The tears flowed freely down my face.

My heart argued with my head that maybe I was mistaken, but all of the evidence shouted otherwise.  I resolved to accept what was happening as part of God's perfect plan.  I told myself over and over that He was in control and knew what was best.

The waiting was unbearable so I tried to sleep.  At least then the painful thoughts and endless cramping would subside.  There was nothing anyone could do to stop the inevitable from happening.  When would it all be over?

There were many well wishers as word got around.  I smiled as I read each one.  It was comforting to know so many prayers were prayed on our behalf.

I received one text in particular that I'd like to share with you.  Carol Martin, a dear woman of God, who knew nothing of our circumstance or even that we were expecting, sent me an encouraging word.  It went like this:

Sis, you are in my prayers today and I wanted to share a word of encouragement.  Psalm 121 says, THE LORD IS MY KEEPER.  God will keep what we cannot keep.  He will do what we cannot do!  When our hands are tied; His hands are free.  So look up!  He is able to work for you today.

God had spoken to me directly!  Though I could not keep this baby, He could!  Though my hands were tied, His were free.  He is my help and I will trust Him.  He is at work.  Even though I don't understand why things have happened the way they have, I will trust Him that He is able to keep what I cannot.



At 6 pm on Saturday, February 26, 2011, the inevitable happened. I miscarried.  I put a precious jewel into our loving Savior's hands.  I was not able to keep that treasure, but He is!  Now I have two precious little ones in Heaven.  It gives more meaning to that old chorus, "I've Got More to Go to Heaven For Than I Did Yesterday".I've Got More to Go to Heaven For

The Lord is my Keeper and I will trust Him!

6 comments:

Pam... said...

Aw. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. That is a truly hard thing. What a blessing, though for God to speak to you through a voice with 'flesh on'. Knowing he cares so much and wanted to personally minister to you must have given you new hope and ability to carry on for Him. Praying...

Anonymous said...

Niki,
My heart goes out to you. Yes, the Lord is your Keeper---what a blessing this blog is. We are continuing to pray for you.
Teresa N.

Homemakers Cottage said...

My heart is broken for your loss, Sis. Niki. I know this little one is in God's hands... and so is your hurting mother's heart. I'm praying for you and I love you.

Kristy

Susan said...

God is the keeper of all things: He keeps that which we have committed unto Him. He will keep his promises. Praying you will find comfort in His keeping power. Love you, Mom

"The Joy Of a Mother In HomeMaking" said...

Sis. Niki, I know just what you went thru we lost 2 babies 11 moths apart. But I can truly say that God has given me the strength to go thru this to help others. I remember the Sunday after we had layed our little Zachariah to rest. I was at the alter praying with such a broken heart, and a dear sis. came and prayed with me and the Lord spoke thru her and told me that He has my baby in his arms and that my arms will never be empty!!!! that was such a comfort to my crushed and broken heart.Then around 4-6 months later I was exspecting again and found out we were having twins!!! at 34 weeks along I had lost Johnathan not knowing why this had happen But God only knows why. The Lord came to me in such a special way and gave me the strength and comfort I needed to go thru this again. In His Service, Lydia

Niki said...

Thank you all for your prayers and sypathy. Our hearts are longing for the Lord to bless us again. In His time...