If Your Relationship With Your Daughter Had A Score, What Would It Be?

There's nothing like a sweet mother/daughter relationship!  I'm privileged to have a great relationship with my mom and very blessed to have a wonderful relationship with my daughters.  In fact, I took a quiz recently to see how I was doing with my teenage daughter.   We attended a mother/daughter get-together at our church and our ladies director handed each of us mothers this quiz.  After doing some research I found many types of quizzes and things along that nature, but thought it would be fun if I posted the quiz I took (with some revisions, of course).  There were some questions that did not apply since I am a home school mom, but I just skipped those and then adjusted the score accordingly.  Kelly and I actually took the quiz together so that she could answer how she felt I was doing.  It was a lot of fun and informative, too.  If you'd like an unofficial report on just how you are doing, take this quiz along with your daughter and see!

O=Often S=Sometimes N=Never

I can name my daughters 3 best friends.  O=3   S=2   N=1
I comment on my daughter's weight.  O=1 S=2 N=3
I don't know her friends' moms.  O=1 S=2 N=3
I talk about her inner strengths  (kindness, gentleness, servant's heart) as opposed to her external strengths (hair, skin, teeth, figure).  O=3 S=2 N=1
When I converse with her, she does most of the talking O=3 S=2 N=1
I tell her stories about my childhood.  O=3 S=2 N=1
I complain about my weight in front of her.  O=1 S=2 N=3
I know what her favorite food is.  O=3 S=2 N=1
She watches TV or movies mostly unsupervised.  O=1 S=2 N=3
I make dinner for the family )=3 S=2 N=1
I am physically active with her.  O=3 S=2 N=1
I've talked with her about her monthly cycle. O=3 S=2 N=1
She has a boyfriend O=1 S=2 N=3
We watch TV or movies together.  O=3 S=2 N=1
I go to bed when she has sleepovers.  O=1 S=2 N=3
I complain about my monthly cycle in front of her.  O=1 S=2 N=3
I'm not able to help with extra curricular activities.  O=1 S=2 N=3
We talk of money management when we shop for clothes or other needs.  O=3 S=2 N=1
I spend at least a half hour a week with her doing something we both enjoy O=3 S=2 N=1
I know who her real-life role model is and help them to spend time together.  O=3 S=2 N=1
My daughter does chores. O=3 S=2 N=1
We talk about boys. O=3 S=2 N=1
Money is no object in regard to what she wants. O=1 S=2 N=3
I know her favorite singer. O=3 S= N=1
I know her favorite book or movie.  O=3 S=2 N=1
When she has sleepovers, I am involved with the girls.  O=3 S=2 N=1
I am actively involved in her extra curricular activities. O=3 S=2 N=1
My daughter plays mostly electronic games with her free time. O=1 S=2 N=3
I talk to her friends' moms about parenting our daughters.  O=3 S=2 N=1

If you scored higher than 72 you are intuitively connecting with your daughter in the areas most crucial to your early teenage daughter.  Focus on strengthening your knowledge concerning why you are making these choices, so you can communicate effectively to other moms about these issues.

If you scored between 58 and 72 you are really doing well in forming your daughter's value system in some areas, but you need a little clarification because you're missing key conversations in other areas.

If you scored under 57 don't feel bad.  There are a lot of reasons why you might score this way, including stresses in your own life, a recent family loss or divorce, or not having a good role model in your own mom.  In order to successfully form your daughter's value system, you need to be more intentional in how you parent.

I hope you enjoyed taking this little quiz and that it opened a door for you and your daughter to talk about some things that you or her had been wanting to discuss.  Take this opportunity to draw closer to her.  Dannah Gresh has some wonderful books on mother/daughter relationships that might prove helpful to you and is the source of this basis of this quiz.

Have a great day and tell your daughter(s) today what a treasure she is!


Homemakers Cottage said...

This gave me a lot to think about. My daughters are still really young (4 and 6) but I want to win their hearts while they are young! Your girls are precious, by the way!

Niki said...

Thank you so much! I remember at 7 years old, Kelly and I had our first "big girl" talk. We went shopping together and talked of many things. I was criticized for beginning such serious topics that early, but have not regretted it since. I wanted her to know everyhting from me and not her peers, etc. Today, we have a very open relationship of which I am thankful.

I've already began age-appropriate topics with Hailey (5). I believe if you are open and honest at an early age they will appreciate it.

As far as other "stuff", it can be challenging to spend that one-on-one time with each child, but make the effort. Even if it is only for five minutes while you are combing their hair. They will appreciate it.

I know it's hard now while you have so many "littles". Hang in there! You are doing a great job!